Adventures of Squishy D: My First Road Trip

I started my morning like any other morning hanging out with my bro Limpy D and my woman Diana Thumb. SGT Nemo plops down at her desk then snatched me up from my pleasant surrounding and tosses me onto the dash of her damn Jeep and I’m stuck. 

“How long am I gonna be gone I think?”

Then I hear the old hag say Iowa and return Friday. 

“Damn, I think now I gotta leave my woman with Limpy for a week. FML, Well I guess I will make the best of it and see the sights.”

“It’s been a rough ride. Hit the windshield a few times. The old hags hubby can’t drive worth a crap.”  First stop was Iowa 80 check out my pics

“Slept most of the trip till the a$$hole hit the breaks and I hit the windshield again. Got a busting headache but finally got to our destination and now I’m hanging out watching the price is right. The old hag took a picture of me relaxing.”

“Well I’m going to call my woman and make sure Limpy hasn’t touched her. I don’t trust him. Don’t let his name fool ya. He’s a hoebag im gonna head to bed now.  I hit ya up tomorrow. We heading to hospital to hang with the old hag and her father in law. She make for a fun date.”